Seriously?

My soon-to-be-ex-husband (couldn't be soon enough) and I had a few errands to run together today to sign paperwork saying that we officially wanted off the roller coaster. It was surprisingly more delightful than I anticipated.

We managed to have three broken down vehicles, two calls to roadside assistance and a screaming/door slamming episode at a gas station pump over debit vs. credit card and a zip code issue that reminded me exactly why I was getting off said roller coaster. This was all in about an hour and a half. That wasn't the surprising or delightful part. That was standard procedure.

During that time we did have a few laughs...my failing to be able to provide the notary with any identification with my "married" name on it was not one of them. (Hyphenating my last name was not one of my brightest ideas). Again. Not surprising and not delightful.

The laugh we had was, ironically, at our own expense. We've been separated for over two years (married only a year, but dated for over a decade...go figure) and we still had a joint checking account open. We finally closed that about a month ago. It was the first step in my official "giving up" process.

Last week, we received an additional refund check written out to both of us from the IRS for our 2007 taxes. After some arm twisting, I convinced him that I deserved the whole check (my close friends are laughing their faces off right now...either at the fact that I did some arm twisting or at the idea that he thought he should get any of the check). He signed the check, I signed the check and went on my merry way to the bank.

Of course it's not that easy. The government is clearly trying to force us to stay together (I swear...you should see all the offerings for marriage counseling in our excessive amount of divorce paperwork). We literally have to open up a joint checking account again just to deposit this check. It's preposterous...almost laughable!

We are literally opening up a joint checking account on the same day we are having our "Application for Divorce" notarized. No joke. That's what they call it. Really. As if I'll be interviewed and have to provide references before they'll let me out of my marriage. Not to worry...I interview with flying colors and I've got dozens of friends who would provide references to the fact that, try as we may, there is no putting us back together.

The most hysterical part of our brief afternoon together is that after all these years...my bad habits have finally rubbed off on him. I had to sit with him in the car for 10 minutes waiting for his Mom to come open the door to his house, because as he was running out the door to meet me, he locked himself out of the house! In typical fashion...he blamed me. It's always my fault you know. I did rush him.

Anyone know someone who could push that "application" through a little quicker??