Just Call Me MacGyver

So most of you know I'm trying to launch this Arbonne business (If you don't know, I'm not doing a very good job of it because the key to the business is talking to people about it!). One of my goals, and part of the reason I decided to do this was because it would force me to take better care of myself. I was never much for "me" time, so things like skin care, finger nail filing (and God forbid the treadmill) were never at the top of my priority list.

Please don't misunderstand. I'm not granola or anything...I do value personal hygiene. I'd be the first one in line to get a mani/pedi scheduled...but then I'd probably have to give away my time slot to a friend or relative (Which I would pay for of course!) because I ended up having a conflict with a board meeting or sales call. If I did keep the appointment, I'd probably be in the car at the stop light in front of the place trying to take off the polish on my toes that hadn't been touched since the last appointment...3 months ago...all while I was on my Blackberry trying to tell the receptionist that I was going to be 10 minutes late!

So I've got this new found commitment to my general health, well being and wrinkle avoidance. Like a good girl, I'm washing my face with all of my new products on Friday night (did you know that every night you DON'T wash your face you age 14 days??? I'm about 150 years old then!). Washing your face in the evening for most people is completely uneventful. Not for me. I somehow drop the cap to my new "Hydrating Face Wash" down the sink drain (don't ask me why it was open...can I blame my cleaning lady for that?? Can I sue??). The cap (of course) fits perfectly down the drain leaving only a hair (not literally...ew gross) between the shiny new orange cap and my less than shiny drain.

Surely, a simple wire hanger will solve this problem. I untwist the hanger and shape it into a fish hook style tool. Of course it doesn't work. I can only get it up so far and then it unhooks and falls down. In my infinite wisdom I scratch this plan of action and go straight to my tool box (literally a cardboard box the size of a box of tampons jammed into the back of my coat closet). I eliminate the practicality of a screwdriver (flat or Phillips...I know the difference people) and amazingly enough, my duct tape. This is when I decide it's time to hit the "alternate" tool box otherwise known as the medicine cabinet. It's there (actually in my daughter's medicine cabinet...we did talk about my lack of attention to skin care and the like) that I find the tweezers. The tweezers HAVE to work. With the precision of a surgeon I enter the drain and am immediately successful...at dropping the tweezers down the drain as well. Not to worry. My trusty wire hanger got those suckers right out!

I decide at this point (and I do have one) that I need to have a sort of insurance policy. Something that will assure me that whatever I stick in the drain, isn't going to get stuck (unless of course I want it to). Like any 35 year old single mother would do, I demand that my daughter and girlfriend (snaps Deirdre) chew four pieces of gum so I can shove it down the sink. This makes perfect sense. It is ABSOLUTELY something MacGyver would have done...only before the wire hanger and tweezers. I leave the gum sit over night and low and behold, the tweezers stick quite nicely in it and pull that pesky cap right out of my drain!

I bet you all thought this would end badly...badly would have been me calling some stupid boy for help, or worse yet...gum in my hair (it came close...trust me!). Ye of little faith! I am woman...hear me roar! I am single mother of African descent...hear me roar louder!!!!